Monkey Mind

We are addicted to our minds.

In particular, our very own thoughts and emotions.

Let me explain.

In India, there is a particularly clever way of catching monkeys. Hunters cut a hole in a coconut that is just big enough for a monkey to put its hand through. Then they drill two smaller holes in the other end, pass a wire through and secure the coconut to the base of a tree. Then they put a banana inside the coconut and hide. The monkey puts its hand in and takes hold of the banana. The hole is crafted so that the open hand can go in but the fist cannot get out. All the monkey has to do to be free is to let go of the banana. But it seems most monkeys do not let go...

Our minds get us caught in very much the same way in spite of all our intelligence. 

Thoughts are just thoughts. Emotions come and go. Both are fleeting. We are not our thoughts or our emotions. Understanding this reality, we can consciously choose to relate or not to relate to thoughts in a variety of ways that were not available to us before we were aware of this one simple but essential fact.

I teach my clients to cultivate a sense of presence, acceptance and intentionality. Often, they are wasting time and energy - precious human resources - denying and resisting what IS already FACT...otherwise known as life, reality or the present moment.

Denying, resisting, forcing or struggling against the present moment, in any form it takes, leaves one with very little energy for healing and growth. The ego can be summed up quite succinctly:  

A negative relationship with the present moment.

Jon Kabat-Zinn writes about seven attitudes that lay the foundation of mindfulness practice and include:

1. Non-judging

2. Patience

3. Beginner's Mind

4. Trust

5. Non-striving

6. Acceptance

7. Letting Go

Most people who come to see me for anxiety or some form of addiction have not learned to recognize their negative relationship with the present moment nor can they tolerate being with their thoughts or emotions. Much of the anxiety and addiction is used as a way to avoid being overwhelmed by their thoughts and emotions. Part of the process of psychotherapy is teaching a client how to be containers for their thoughts and emotions, to hear the messages those thoughts and emotions bring and to decide whether to act on them in an adaptive way or to let them go.

In the beginning, I act as the container for their unwanted thoughts and emotions and insodoing, demonstrate that it is really not so scary afterall. Our thoughts and emotions do not kill us. Of course our behaviors can hurt us and others, but until we can be in touch with ourselves, our behaviors will only reflect and express this dis-ease and dis-connection.

Food for thought...

Please check out Jon Kabat-Zinn's 15th anniversary edition of Full Catastrophe Living (1990).  

Thanks for reading this week's "Is It Just Me Or...?" Please pass it along.

Best,

Rae