Response versus Reaction

More than 90% of human behavior is reactionary.

Human behavior generally falls into two categories: responding or reacting.
At first glance, these two may seem quite similar, but in fact, there is a great deal of difference.
The difference can make or break us.

To respond is to be in a state of mind which is 

• thoughtful
• conscious
• aware
• accepting.

It is creative, powerful and full of options.

To react is to be in a state of mind which is

• impulsive
• unthoughtful
• irresponsible
• unconscious
• in denial

It is uncreative, wreaks havoc and limits one's behavioral repertoires.

Our thoughts and emotions do not hurt us or others but our behavior can.

It is our perception or interpretation of an external event that triggers a thought, which triggers an emotion  and finally a behavior. Events can come in myriad forms such as a situation, relationship, person, job, task, finances and so forth. It is important to recognize that events are always neutral but the meanings we assign them dictate our relationship to the event.

The goal is to work toward responding versus reacting. And this is where mindfulness comes in. Being mindful helps us to create space and time between an event, thought, emotion and behavior. Mindfulness allows us the opportunity to respond rather than react.

The first step in breaking free from a lifetime of reactivity is to be mindful of what is actually happening while it is happening. At any moment, an individual may be encountering a combination of internal and external stressors that can trigger a cascade of thoughts, emotions and behaviors that can be called the stress reaction. People do not have to go the route of the fight-or-flight reaction nor helplessness every time they are stressed or anxious.

We can actually choose to cultivate moment-to-moment awareness that grants us the power to exert control and to influence the flow of events at those very moments when we are most likely to react automatically and plunge into hyperarousal and maladaptive attempts to cope.

Thank you for reading "Is It Just Me Or..."

Best,
Rae